Monthly Archives: March 2011
It being census day, I made an innocent little Tweet about the questions that SHOULD have been included, but weren’t – how many cats we had, that sort of thing. Also, what we had for breakfast would be fascinating to 22d Century genealogists – wouldn’t you like to find out what your forebears in Vuctorian slums had to eat? The next thing I knew, thanks to @noirem, the assembled daft ‘aporths among my followers (and there are quite a few, I’m happy to say) were bombarding me with details of their first meal of the day. Here, for future generations to find, are the Twitter Returns.
The most popular breakfast item, used in various combinations, was (unsurprisingly) bread – mostly toasted, but also fried, or used for sarnies. Naturally enough, bacon was next followed by eggs. No surprises, then… but wait. Some of you have chocolate for breakfast? Really? Mini eggs (@waywardlou), Creme Egg (@lizardsimpkins) and… really @sarahpez? A custard slice? You… you… sybarite. A couple of you popped pills, either suffering from headache or the after effects of a night on the razz. @mrstrevithick had something called meerschaum, which I always thought was a pipe. Maybe she’s an omnivore. @dantegalgo has kibble…
In the battle of the sauces, brown sauce knocked ketchup into a cocked hat, which sounds incredibly messy now that I think of it. And what would you imagine might be Twitter’s breakfast drink of choice? Reassuringly for traditionalists, twice as many of you bright young things drank tea than coffee. There were a few individualists knocking back juice, or Berocca, or banana smoothie, but generally it seems we really ARE a nation of tea drinkers.
Averaging everything out, the movers and shakers on Twitter fortify themselves for the day ahead with a breakfast of bacon, egg and custard slice on toast smothered in brown sauce, with a side dish of Anadin wrapped in cheese, all washed down with a huge mug of tea. Magic.
So dudes, welcome to the first totally awesome simian run #SundayPics by me @MannyMunkeh !
First off I have to say “WOAH!” Cos there was a complete overload of epic photos to look at, totally awesome – you guys can so do Munkeh business and I laughed a lot at most of them and was in total awe at some others. Immense dudes, thanks.
I thought I’d get us in the mood like with a little video of proper #munkehbusiness
Shall we do some cute “awww” ones first, there are some seriously sweet lil munkeh people out there.
This lil snappy dresser lives with @babymakingfiles I am lovin’ her wardrobe as she has more than one outfit featuring a munkeh, but this one is going off the cuteness scale. Working that outfit lil dude!
“My little Munkeh dressed specially for the occasion!” says Emma and we munkehs appreciate it!
“Bertie is definitely up to some monkey business” says @OldMotherRiley he certainly looks like a lil munkeh dude and a mischievous one too, still has the awesome dude cute factor though – just check that trailer is hooked on properly before you drive off anywhere, co I have a feeling there might have been some tampering!
Mine too dude, they look like they’re having a blast – who’s winning do we think? I know who my money is on!
Not the only kitty up to munkeh business, check out Bengal who isn’t so afraid of the bath it seems. Bengal is the owner of @MacJude and this properly made me laugh out loud, I bet he is a little munkeh about the house all the time!
Now it’s true that Munkehs and kitties don’t usually mix well, it’s those claws that just don’t agree with us, and while I don’t mind looking at photos of the fellas I’m not sure I want to be as close as these next dudes are to Jack the cat. Jack is owner to @fintanbear and is not looking too happy to have munkeh dudes as company. The dude taking his life into his hands and sitting on top of Jack, is my pal @themarchello we’ll see more of him later. He travelled a lot and finally settled down when we helped relocate him to live with @fintanbear – you should ask him about the day Marchello arrived at work for him if you get the chance, it’s a doozy.
@crofty knows you have to keep an eye on these pets “This might look like the face of an innocent 7mnth Border Collie. Believe me, it’s a little monkey!”
And I believe you dude, it’s the ones that ‘look’ innocent that you have to watch out for!
This is @RHSFB12 claim that “man hasn’t evolved much” and I think she might be right! Pleased to say I don’t know these dudes personally and I would never presume to be so, erm, personal with a lady person.
I can see why the dude on the left is laughing though
This fella is alezed’s friend Monsieur Francois, she is also quite lovely as she shared a yummy looking recipe for mango and #nana custard which I can’t wait to try.
In case you fancy it too, it’s here: http://www.food.com/recipe/mango-banana-custard-raw-foods-349116
@Jaxbourne decided it was a day for Munkehs to be out and about.
”Chief Mockatutu and #twantamonkey R so excited,they R coming to work today.” And it looks like they got up to much munkeh business in that shop window dude! I think it’s those exotic jungle looking flowers that may have fooled them into thinking that was a tree, we munkehs like climbing trees – in fact we’ll climb anything if we get the chance, I have an uncle called Maxwell that once climbed that big Angel thing ‘oop nurth’. He got into a bit of trouble and there were incidents involving flinging of ‘stuff’ —- we don’t talk about it.
Now dudes if you had the chance to dress up as anything you wanted, what would it be? I know – a Munkeh right? Well that’s exactly what @lauriepink used to do at Art school. Don’t believe me, well take a look
And as if that wasn’t enough – it’s all home made too! I just wonder why Laurie doesn’t look too happy in this pic, I think she looks awesome.
** I would like to point out that the terrible Munkeh pun is brought to you by a wombat not a simian, so please pass your complaints that way, oh but if you have any better ones I would love to hear, cos this lil munkeh was stumped!
Careful there @jamerz3294 that munkeh looks like a big fella!
Oh hang on.. I think Jamie might be tricking us a bit and this isn’t a real picture. Lucky really because this guy is about 800lb and might not be too keen to share his lunch!
Pants!! No idea why that word is so funny dudes, it just is.
And these very cool ones are supplied by @AvenSarah, although I don’t think they are hers but maybe owned by a little munkeh she has. They are awesome dudes and this lil simian is very jealous as he has no pants at all!
Thought you might be, so check these out..
This guy is very high on the munkeh cuteness scale and seems to be having a blast with that old sack.
And apparently he was says @robmorrey – that is until a bigger dude came and nicked it off him. I can relate to that, it happens a lot to us smaller dudes, I’m lucky to have my pal Gib to look out for me.
Hang on a mo – I’ve just found out about a munkeh forest and now it seems there is a while simian world! Awesome, all I want to know now is how do I get there!
That’s more responsibility that this lil munkeh likes to have! But I did manage to narrow it down to two – this first one cos he clearly has a bit of a ‘tude’ and this second cos I reckon he is quite cute, both definitely up to munkeh business. Not bad photos either I reckon
And while talojo submitted loads @hollylightly didn’t submit any! So I had to ask her if I could use this one that she had used before for a #sundaypics cos it makes me laugh. I like to think that this is how hollylightly looks all the time, as we’ve yet to see any evidence to the contrary.
I should tell you too, that it’s all cos of talojo and hollylightly that I found twitter in the first place. We are old gamer buds on facebook and they persuaded me and my pal Gib to sign up on twitter – so now you know who to blame! We should probably have a tweet up at some point, if only so I can see if Holly looks like that without her hat on.
Talking of lots of munkehs – look at this lot! They look a little bit all squashed together and need a sort out and I reckon that @Alliterative could well be the man for the job, seeing how he found them in the first place.
Us munkehs like a touch more comfort.
This next fun looking band of munkehs liveswith the doodle dude aka @Captain_doodle I can see some serious #nana research happening on the far right, some munkehs with their priorities sorted for sure!
I wonder, did the nickname Captain Doo Doo ever stick? Or was that just me that heard that one?
This sweet little Love munkeh dude was bought by @Mallrat_uk as a gift for @niallmo for an anniversary gift. Now people, it’s important you understand that whilst munkehs make amazing gifts and we are very easily housetrained, we are not just for anniversaries and Christmas, but for life. Or at least until we decide to move on cos you’ve run out of #nanas or something – it’s v important you don’t do that!
These clever dudes are having a right blast swinging about in the back of @Tonihill79 ‘s car, how much fun does that look!
But — it seems that this might not have a happy ending. After writing this blog, this lil Munkeh discovered some disturbing evidence that at least one of these dudes is being a little mistreated. I would suggest anyone of a nervous disposition and fellow munkehs avoid the next shocking photo —
I can only hope that this picture came to light, that Toni has seen to it that the lil fella has received the appropriate medical care that he needs.. and plenty of #nanas.
Don’t know who (or what) those other dudes are, but they seem to look like they know what they are doing.
Look after your munkehs people!
Now, just to clear this up – is this an actual cat posting pics? Cos that would be clever, I don’t know any cats that use computers. It’s not cos they can’t it’s just because they can’t be bothered, cats are very laid back – like us Munkehs, but mostly not as friendly.
I think Mrs Ashboro’s cat sounds friendly though and I would maybe like to meet Mrs Ashboro too.
I like sock munkehs, there are loads on twitter, I think they’re like a gang or something cos they all seem to know each other. Anyway, they are v friendly you should check them out if you haven’t already.
Look at these dudes, they defo look like they’ve been up to munkeh business. @richlieu_uk came home and found these dudes looking a bit suspicious, “don’t worry, I’ve checked my slippers” he assured me and I told he should probably check the bed too!
This dude has the right idea, listening to some chill out toons. I like The Arctic Monkeys and some old stuff like Bananarama are good too. This fella is listening to a bit of Nik Kershaw with @ScullyScully (so good they named her twice?). The track he has on, in case you are wondering: ‘Monkey Business’ of course!
First up is @theMarchello – you remember I mentioned him earlier? He’s travelled loadsa places dudes and is a big fan of pasta and #nanas, but maybe not at the same time. Anyway here he is doing some swingin’ munkeh business in the garden.
Maybe I should pop round and check it out, haven’t seen Marchello much since his leaving party in Portishead just before he moved to the south.
And no blog on munkeh business would be complete without a pic from my absolute besty @Gib46 Here we are having a blast on some of our wicked wheels. It’s lucky Gib was there to hold onto to me as it was a bit tricky to hang on, specially when we go fast downhill!
John lived down at the bottom of the village. A decade and a half ago, his wife left him. John descended into gloom and agoraphobia. He shut himself away in his house, alone mostly, although for some years he had the company of a pustular dog that was only ever allowed out of the front door on a long rope, in order to crap on the footpath. He (John, that is) was discovered dead a few weeks ago, having fallen headlong down stairs.
Today a couple of vans arrived bearing several men who proceeded to dress in plastic overalls and blue rubber gloves. Two of the men, let’s call them Barry and Vern, joked as they walked down to John’s house – they were here to clean it out, and they weren’t particularly looking forward to it. Now, I’ve not seen beyond the front door, but I did notice that they put their hoods up before entering, which may give an indication as to what it might be like in there.
Six hours later, the total remnants of John’s life had been dumped out by the road to await removal. A cardboard box of shabby Christmas decorations on the top was a particularly wistful reminder of how normal his life must have been once. Have you ever considered what you might leave behind when you cock your clogs? What will your Barry and Vern joke about as they carry your remnants to the dump? Which particular item will be your shabby Christmas decoration?
Morning! It might sound like a Manchester lap-dancing club, but in reality it’s a high-calorie, bacony, cheesy, tatery feast. On the right there is the one I made last night just before it went in the oven. Here’s @notmetaltax ‘s recipe.
Here’s my rough guide to making Tartiflette, which dispenses with the need for complicated cheese and reduces it to a level of simplicity that even a student could manage.
Things you will need: potatoes, onion, garlic, white wine, creme fraiche (1 tub), bacon (smoked works nicely, ideally bacon lardons), cheese (I like to use Gruyere and either a strong Cheddar or something French and stinky)
Chop the potatoes into rough cubes – enough to make a couple of layers of your chosen oven dish. Boil them in salted water to the point where they’re just starting to break apart on the edges (around 10 minutes). While they’re boiling, chop the onion and fry it until it softens, then add the bacon (chopped, if you’ve not got lardons) and garlic. When the bacon’s starting to crisp, add a generous slug of the white wine, stir and take it off the heat.
Chop the cheese into smallish cubes. Drain the potato cubes and place a layer of them in the bottom of your oven dish. Sprinkle over a handful of each cheese and a couple of spoonfuls of the onion/bacon stuff. Add another layer of potato and the remainder of the onion/bacon mix. Spoon over the creme fraiche and roughly spread it out over the surface of the potato, then sprinkle the remainder of the cheese so that it’ll melt and give you a nice crust. If you’re feeling the need for more crunch, you can sprinkle over breadcrumbs as well.
Stick it in the oven at around 200 degrees for 20/30 minutes – until the cheese has gone whatever shade of brown you prefer basically. Spoon it out and eat. Leftovers will keep in the fridge and microwave nicely the next day!
I didn’t have creme fraiche, cos I’m not posh like Matt, so instead I used Greek yoghurt mixed with an egg yolk and a little flour. I used chopped streaky bacon and Emmenthal cheese and plenty of breadcrumbs. Here’s how it looked thirty minutes later when served with BBQ bacon chops and a courgette / red pepper mélange. It’s REALLY tasty. Have a go.
I know it’s hard to credit, but occasionally I run out of ideas of what to make for tea, and this time I turned to Twitter for help. “Help me, Twitter!” I cried, “What can I make for tea?” And Twitter rose to the occasion and threw lots of food at me.
There were a few suggestions of what I might call Men’s Food – “Spam Fritters!” cried @binarydad, dismissing my objection that Mary doesn’t like them with “I’m not seeing the problem”. @SkydiveMacca suggested “a nice big slab of cow, seasoned, hot seared on both sides then served with boiled new pots and some greens”, while my Michigan buddy @jamerz3294 forgot that rural Lancashire is a little different to his home, suggesting I shoot and butcher a deer and have “Venison flank steak”. I suppose I could pay Mr. Tesco to do that for me.
In the Pasta Gang, @Teddy_red told me to “make alphabetti spaghetti from scratch. Nourishing AND educational”. We then got into the whole area of making lots of Fs, Us and Cs so that we could have rude word pasta, or filthigli as I believe it isn’t called. “Don’t forget to make plenty of T’s, E’s & D’s too” she said. @ericafairs was also a pasta fan, preferring hers with Italian meatballs, Parmesan, green salad, and a session of window shopping.
I suppose it’s not surprising that both @janegoth and @matronmim like nothing better than a good sausage, Jane with macaroni cheese & a salad or minted peas (ew). Bacon sandwiches (@The CurlyLucy), homemade quiche (@Miss_Muchly), and an exotic mix of stir fry shrimp, walnuts and green beans (definitely NOT Men’s Food from @Island252) were also thrown at me.
My lovely daughter Cat pointed me at http://whatthefuckshouldimakefordinner.com/, which suggested as its first recipe “some fucking Calves Brains”. Erm, no thanks, and when did my little girl grow up? A more refined link is to @hebbie’s terrific blog of recipes for her son (all ingredients available at Aldi) – well worth a browse: http://acookbookforstewart.blogspot.com/
Finally I was sent actual recipes for a really tasty-sounding chilli by @andymcf, and something called tartiflette from @notmetaltax . “It’s a high-calorie hit of tasty goodness!” Matty says, although it sounds like a lapdancing club to me. I’ll put these final two recipes in separate blog posts when I actually cook them, as long as Andy & Matt don’t mind, cos they also deserve to be cooked by you, dear reader.
Oh, and in the end I settled on an old favourite – “Crispy corned beef taters, with green beans & Yorkshire puds & HP Brown Sauce with Guinness”. Delicious, obviously.
Well, hello you lot.
Doodle here, pretending to be Mr Wombat for this particular #sundaypics. I’ve got my fake stick-on Wombat beard in place and am furiously scribbling down innuendos as we speak. Right, this thing takes for ever to put together, so let’s roll…
This week it was FASHION DISASTERS! I’d asked for incriminating evidence of yourselves committing crimes against fashion from the distant – or not-so-distant – past, and boy, did you deliver with a plethora of dodgy outfits. Judge Zoolander of the Fashion Police is presiding. Here is the case for the prosecution…
Leading off is @Ariadnes_web with what can only be described as hospital scrubs, despite her assertion that it’s a tracksuit c.1986. “I never did any exercise in it”claims Jenny. Too right; you were clearly too busy performing operations… Next up, also from 1986, is @shonie1966, with a striking billowy bumblebee effort, and @FBishWife, resplendent in Hammer-style parachute trousers and multicoloured neon top. “In my defence I was 10” she pleads. The jurors will not be swayed. Judge Zoolander will decide your fate, missy… Completing the first batch is @SparklyGorgeous, whose case is thrown out as his top is rather good. In his defence, he’d actually put forward his 70s fireplace, which remains in custody for its patchwork jacket.
Har-har-@Hardyduncan leads off the next line-up of criminals with his sexy c.1995 tank top, looking chic in France by the look of it… “Do dungers count as a fashion disaster?” asks @nyncompoop. Borderline, I’d say, but she looks far too cute to be banged up based on this evidence… “The hair! The glasses! The Laura Ashley smock!” exclaims @hastillonlyme, looking rather Deirdre Barlow on her 21st birthday… Talking of hair, yoinks! it’s @MacJude in crazy, Shepherd-Book-after-shower-untethered-hair mode (www.tvsa.co.za/blogimages/firefly_book.jpg)
Shuffling next into the courtroom is young offender @notmetaltax with a greybluey honeycomb jumper featuring what appear to be bees cruelly skewered on a pole, fussball-style… @lucyhunter quickly proclaims her innocence, as she was on her way to an 80s party, so her neon n black nightmare is entirely deliberate… @kaPOWed’s “Hey, it was a festival” excuse may yet let her off the hook. Her V-festival outfit appears to include 24-carat solid gold boots! Bling!… Good lord! It’s @Crofty. With hair! And a lil’ fluffy ‘tache. And “dungarees fastened with a safety pin.” Cripes.
Frack me, there’s hundreds of you. Here comes @OldMotherRiley with her Morris kit, including jangly boots. “At least I got a go on the pump truck” she exclaims… @sarahpez saunters into the courtroom with her plastic bag slip-ons. “Look what they made me wear” she cries. Who are ‘they’, we all wonder. I’m guessing sinister government agents. Two by two, feet of blue (that’s two references now, Firefly fans!)… Wow, @davidgilray’s entry looks like a cracking retro poster. Lovely shot, including his revolutionary inflatable shorts… “Not mine!” protests @babymakingfiles, sporting some blue crocs provided to her by the clinic before IVF egg collection, apparently. Why one needs fancy plastic footwear for that I have no idea.
@talojo steps up to the, erm, judge’s desky thing. I wanted to say ‘oche’ there, but that’s clearly darts. She’s sporting a lovely dress and baseball cap combo, The ideal swingball get-up. Apparently she had a “cap with EVERY outfit” policy back in the day… and look, here’s @ToffeegirlUK with a 90s wraparound table cloth, alongside @Owlbird, who blames the parents for her bobble-hatted, puffy-panted outfit… and here’s @ericafairs, rocking the horizontal-stripes-and-emergency-downpour-yellowy-mac look.
@SplashMan gets a set all to himself in order to showcase his extraordinary disappearing shorts! Marvel as they recede as we go back in time. It appears that the socks were part of this strange equation as well. From regimental in the 60s, to half-mast, then none at all as we plunge into the 70s.
Ooof, red and orange. Glow-in-the-dark orange t’boot. A very serious crime, young man. @jamerz3294 needs locking away with no chance of parole ;)… “It was 1975” is all @Hebbie has to say in her defence. Her top is a colour explosion!… Vroooom! Here comes @Tonihill79 driving a boat in a lime green skirt and luminous top and bum bag combo… rounding up this set of offenders is @LettyP1, camouflaging herself amongst the living room furniture. “Don’t know what possessed me” she gasps. Indeed.
The one and only @wombat37 takes centre stage in the courtroom with this set; 1) “early Wombat Mesozoic era” in smashing cap, 2) Fab n groovy hippy type dude, and 3) Rupert The Bear… Rounding off the four is @kirtle. Aww, doesn’t she look cute, but woah, check out that top!
Yowser, it’s only me, innit. @captain_doodle comin atcha in luminous pyjamas alongside @antiiiiiii, then in hideously shiny, highly flammable late 80s favourite, the shellsuit. Completing the Doodle treble is this grey jumpered number although, actually, I’d probably wear that Knight Rider top now in a cool retro stylee. To finish the four we have the missus, @shelley279, lookin’ like she’ll belt yer if you say owt about her outfit, so I’ll keep quiet on that one 😉
It’s another triple, this time from @RHSFB12. Woah, those are some natty troos! And look, there’s the other half of the outfit in pic 2. Multicoloured tartan madness. Too insane to wear as an all-in-one! Finishing off the trilogy is her “female participant at a nerd party.” lol. Completing the four is @Mazster251, snoozing away in a sheep disguise in his crazy 70s-beshirted big bro’s arms.
Aww, doesn’t @Jaxbourne look cute in her Little House on the Prairie outfit. She does, however, bear an uncanny resemblance to those Dolly Toilet Roll Covers That Your Nan Used To Have. Extraordinary… Sitting on an adjacent stack of toilet rolls is @naff_caff, all dolled up in a dress, and wearing big persons’ shoes!… Ooh, it’s Magnum P.I… no wait, it’s @Bv079 looking like the “coolest kid down the park.” Not quite Miami Vice is it – down the local dog poo infested Rec… and here comes double trouble, @BeckaLFC and twin sister in red, looking ever so slightly The Shining.
Sporting a bear hat and a replica 1940s RAF coat, it’s @AaronKelly. “Don’t ask” he says. Fair enough, let’s speculate instead. I’m plumping for The Superted/Inspector Gadget Appreciation Society annual bash. Here he is again. Technically let off because it’s a costume, but it’s still one heck of a costume!.. @Och23 rounds off the set with two pics; her and her sisters, and two years old in 1976. Ahh, the 70s – the decade of brown.
Teehee, it’s the fabulous @MannyMunkeh next on the stand. What was he thinking with this “seriously dodgy hairdo”, dudes… Now for a tasty triple helping of @Puddled_Pudding. First up it’s the Swampy years, followed swiftly by lil’ 80s sailor girl, and then kitted out in an “awful stripey dress.”
Next in front of Judge Zoolander is @davidtims. That is if he is still alive after posting this pic of him and @julietims without full permission! Julie’s mustard top is actually quite a nice colour; even more so when you compare it to the “dodgy cardigan that is fifty years too old for me” sported by David… next is @kingfamily, who attributes her ‘look’ to being in the midst of a Donny Osmond phase… “I’m the Miami Vice girl with the mullet!” says @aprecious, snapped here with her sister back in ’84. Some impressive hair on show all round… @robmorrey rounds off the foursome with this very colourful early 90s wedding pic. He’s the one on the right with the green trousers.
“Not sure if hat, glasses or dress is worse” is the cry from @MrsAshborosCat. It’s a close run thing! Right, prepare yourselves, it’s the @Alliterative triple bill; 1) Mullet! 2) Levitating trousers 3) Aww, little Alliterative in socks n sandals. Numbers 2 and 3 “could easily have been my sundaypics”, he says. I’m afraid they also are, having been rounded up into the van during the Fashion Police raid.
@little_mavis kicks off the next batch with her Aussie Rules get-up. I love the Hawthorn colour combo, but it’s the red that takes it over the edge. And here she is again, this time in raspberry jumpsuit/dungarees and tan jacket. Nice… @greythorne strolls in with Robert Smith hair and grey cardi on a Paris trip, but it’s the shortest-shorts-in-the-world and tank top combo that jumps out in her second photo.
@white76 doesn’t think much of her knitted waistcoat, @chickenprincess nominates her “worst dressed (but happy) child on the planet”, @AvenSarah looks ooo-la-lah in pink, trying to out-fashion the French girls she was staying with, and @Snowgirl1972, looking very Sloane Rangery ladies wot lunch, advises us to “check out the earrings.” Ah, so that’s where the Christmas decorations went.
A couple of crackers from @HC_Illustrator now; first up is a 70s holiday complete with sun visor. Blimey, I had one of those. Following that, we have an ‘everything pulled up to the max’ shot!… joining in with the fashion fun is @KatCarmOSU (pictured here in the pink) – my eyes! my eyes! It’s like an explosion in a pattern factory!… and here comes @Vegmers with some ‘interesting’ hair. She’s helpfully put together a bit o’ descriptive text here, to save me having to do it – http://amachinations.mooo.com/2011/03/13/fashion-disaster.
Aaaand, finally, the last batch of miscreants are brought before the judge. A double from @carolthescot, first standing to attention in a natty grey ensemble with what appears to be a floral hat, then in burgundy grinning like a loon with her sister with more socks pulled up to the max!… @Island252 (on the right) is next, with some “high fashion in 1970” alongside her sister, who is also in the running for best Toilet Roll Dolly… And we finish in 1976 with @doodledawne, looking as happy as can be, clinging to a monkey in her Harry Hill collared shirt.
Well, it looks like there’s been a late reprieve, as Judge Zoolander has been replaced with Judge Hansel at the last minute, and he’s much more chilled out and lenient n stuff. He’s let you all off with a collective caution. That Hansel; he’s so hot right now.
Thanks for all your contributions. Case dismissed.
DOODLE APPENDIX (for those who don’t know what I’m blathering on about)…
TOILET ROLL DOLLS – freaky lookin’ bog paper guardians… http://www.toilet.bloginterior.com/toilet-roll-doll/
FIREFLY – all kinda awesome… en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Firefly_(TV_series)
ZOOLANDER & HANSEL – en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoolander
So we know that recently there’s been a bit of a sea-change at #SUNDAYPICS when I eased my workload by devolving some weekends to a troupe of guest bloggers? To mark this milestone event, we revisited the first ever #SUNDAYPICS – Weddings. There was a shedload more entries this time round! So warm your hands, rest them on your organ, and get pumping… da da di-da-di-da-daaah.
You’re going to have to wait till the end to see me and @little_mavis on our wedding day, cos I’m starting with our Mums and Dads. On the left, Mave’s parents tie the knot (I wonder how many wedding euphemisms I can use through this blog? That’s one). Gorgeous bouquet, eh? I always thought Mave’s Dad was a thoroughly handsome chap. On the right, my Dad looks inordinately pleased, probably cos he’s fondling Mum’s bum with his left hand. The dress is a bit overwhelming, makes her look a bit like a centaur. Must be why I’m hung like a horse.
First off the mark this time was @ericafairs – posting a day early. There’s always one. This is her wedding day in 1976. “Check out the dead fashionable suit! You can’t see the platform shoes though”. Oh, I always thought flares made it look like you were on hidden roller skates. I had a pair of pink cords which my Mum made into flares by sewing a black triangle of material into each leg. Blimey, we were trendy in South Yorkshire.
Underneath Erica’s wedding pic, I’ve posted her Mum and Dad getting hitched (two) in 1945. “Dad was posted to Palestine soon after” she says, “He was aged only 21 on their wedding day”. She goes on – “Today’s #sundaypics are stunning but remind me that this year is our 35th wedding anniversary. How did that happen? Getting maudlin and old”. Join the gang, sweetie.
Next up is not a wedding pic (on the left), but the very first photo taken of @mrsashboroscat and @joehambleton. It was taken in March 2008. “I was 27 and Joe was 23. It was taken at the Cockpit in Leeds. Which is a rock club” she chirrups, in case we thought they were both flying a plane at the time. And look, here’s an entry from @joehambleton himself – God they do look impossibly young. He says of his photo that he was younger and less beard faced than now. “@MrsAshborosCat still looks as young now!” he says, gallantly. That’ll win him a few brownie points.
A gorgeous smile from @superblouse in one of her favourite photographs. You know, it’s rather difficult to give rein to my usual cynicism when you send in pictures that are this good. I can’t even snark about the fact that Rachel’s dad is holding a pretty bouquet because… well, you’ll see.
Here’s a repeat photo from the very first #sundaypics because, as @nyncompoop explains “I’m repeating the photo as it’s not only the best one but is also the only one at hand”. Blimey, I’ve never seen @binarydad smile so much – he must have been anticipating a really good slice of cake.
@deadredbug show us this lovely pic of “My parent’s wedding”. That’s an absolutely gorgeous hat there, as well as sideburns to die for. I had sideburns once, but the least said about that the better.
A beaming @starlitwolf says there were “No two happier people coming out of the Registry Office!” I’ll bet there was no more handsome couple, either. Sparklies, look! Really nice necklace, and what my daughters used to call, when they were Very Little, a “tirara”.
See, here’s another wonderful photo that I’m not going to be able to make fun of. The sooner we get back to a theme such as “My Arse”, where I’ve got more scope to stretch my sarcasm, the better. Here’s @puddled_pudding and @ed_moose on the right – Hol says “Another one outside the registry office just because Ed looks so gorgeous”. Which one’s he then? (aah, that feels better!). And there’s the whole wedding party, on the left there – “It’s in Castlefield, Manchester. Willow was a 6 month bump. It meant I couldn’t drink. I was not happy”.
Ed himself posted the rather wonderful photo on my left there – “@Puddled_Pudding’s already posted our wedding, thought I’d post flower girls from a friends wedding”. Whoa, that’s a nice photo.
@toffeegirlUK shows us a photo full of grace and elegance. Lovely dress, lovely hair, lovely curvy staircase leading up to the haunted attic where Mad Auntie Gladys was locked away years ago for her own safety, and to stop her eating crows. I may have made that last bit up, sorry. “Glad Wombat decided on Your Wedding again for #SundayPics. Mine was the happiest day of my life” says she. Now *I* really like this happy, candid pic on the right, as indeed does Gill – “Love this pic of my bro and his daughter (my bridesmaid)”. Awwwww!
Check out this jaunty titfer! Lovely, it is. “I met @musicfreak67 aged 17 in ’86” @scullyscully tells us, “Married in ’95. He’s still as handsome today, if greyer”. We’re all greyer these days, Sunshine. Oh, also, your bouquet looks to have exploded with flowers.
Jumping over the broom here (three) are @kanga_rue and @BoyWonder_UK, sheltering from the typical English sun under both a tree and an umbrella. Didn’t your dress get all grassy and muddy and stuff? The light in the leaves there is lovely, by the way.
More smiling faces, which keeps me smiling. “This is my Sundaypics” says @aniesten. “Myself and OH on our very happy day. I am pleased with my #sundaypics entry – I took it with my blackberry from the album. I am getting better at this” You re-photoed your photo on your Blackberry? Ah, modern technology, eh?
Crikey, here comes an inventive one now! I can just imagine your faces when the photographer said “Right love, I want you both to get under that waterfall and walk out of it, as if you’d been married under the sea or summat”. Actually, it makes for an interesting and romantic pic, which is what weddings are all about after all. Getting themselves soggy are the lovely @thiensmummy and, presumably, Thien’s Daddy, who were wed on what looks like a very pleasant day in September 2008. Glad neither of you got cold feet (see what I did there?)
I’ll let @cormaggio explain these chairs, for the originator was indeed he – “For #sundaypics I’ll post the setting of my Canadian brother’s wedding. The long background story, and more pics, can be seen if you CLICK HERE”. I strongly recommend that you do, Sundaypiccers, for it is a fascinating and moving tale indeed.
Here’s @lucyhunter, with a photo of she and her dad at her brother’s wedding. “Clearly the photo was taken by dwarf” she says, presumably cos her dad is missing the top of his head. Is that a Grecian Urn behind him? Cos I know a joke about that.
The delightful @ariadnes_web blurts out “Good grief! Is that us in 1988?. Our Wedding…” and then she trails off. I get the impression she was going to tell us something about the wedding, but got distracted by a squirrel or something. We’ll never know.
Warning! Warning! Sweary man alert! There’s a sweary man alert going on! @splashman says, in regard to this charming photograph, “permit me to be coarse, this women deserves a fucking medal for putting up with shagnasty”. Ah, you old romantic. Though which of us can say we haven’t felt the same way?
“Love on the stairs” says @miffybarker (it hurts your back, love), “Here’s @jimbarker and I tying the knot in 2006. Almost 5 year ago, how time flies when you are having fun”. Hope you don’t mind me cropping you there, but you two were far more interesting than bendy stairs or what appeared to be a drainpipe on the right. You look gorgeous, by the way.
Time for one of my favourite dresses now – here’s @snowgirl1972 and @thorn_waite taking the plunge (four) back in 2006. I just love the colour of that dress – it really suits Helen’s colouring, ducky. Later on, Helen found an extremely evocative photograph of her Mum and Dad, which i love – creases and all. Here it is all big for your enjoyment…
A very peremptory comment from @fbishwife to accompany her photograph – “Wedding day!” she snaps, almost like a dominatrix who might wear a micro skirt and stiletto heels while cracking a whip in your general direction. Except she’s wearing a pretty dress and a “tirara” (sic)
Amzingly, they’re all from that @sarahpez. There’s one of her wedding day where she looks ever so cute, there’s one of little Liv, a flower girl at @Superblouse’s wedding (damn, I should have cross-referenced with the one of Rachel in her car. Ah well, too late now), and a third of @sarahpez and her mum’s standard lamp. Oh, wait – that’s the irrepressible @superblouse again, being devoured top down by a carnivorous hat.
Confetti galore in this glorious photograph of @Mrs_Mummy_K getting spliced (five) “Not a very good one!” she says, but I entirely disagree. I reckon the atmosphere and mood have been captured perfectly.
@hebbie posted this delightful photograph of @gourockguru ‘s mum and dad, Elsie and Reg Ward (nice hat) followed by the one on the right of her own parents, who look like they’re off to see Cliff Richard in The Young Ones after the ceremony. I love those dresses.
Watch what you’re doing with that knife, woman! Was a proper risk assessment done here? I think not. Health & Safety are conspicuous by their absence at @littlebit_bod’s cake cutting. And there she is later, looking quite glorious while dancing with Jay’s littlebit cousins.
“Thought I’d share one of my favourite pictures from my own wedding to @och23” says @robmorrey, and it’s an exciting moment at that, all “Wahey!”. I wonder who had to sweep all the spaghetti up. No wait, not spaghetti… what the hell’s the word? Don’t tell me, it’ll come to me. And speaking of @och23, here she comes now with her own submission to the Church of Sundaypics. “Here’s another from our wedding, 31st October 2003, five years after we met, which was on Halloween too” Now why did you have to say that? There are so many possibilities to be sarky and rude that it’s almost impossible for a wombat to resist. But I shall, since we’re talking about the sanctity of marriage here. Mind you, I’m not sure what ‘sanctity’ is, and can’t be bothered Googling. I believe it might be French for “five boobies”. Confetti, that’s it.
@__AaronKelly sends us an awesome work of art, but modestly proclaims “My rather laughable entry to #sundaypics. Remember, my skills are in Theatre, not Art. On a side note (the right side of the page, in fact), here’s the fairy I’m going to marry. I believe the phrase is ‘batting above my average’” Now if I agree, I’m calling you ugly, and if I disagree, she looks like she could wipe the floor with me. So I’ll just say, erm…. congratulations!
Apparently, according to @ivorjetski, the picture on the left “once made sense to some people”. I’m afraid it’s beyond a poor wombat’s brain to interpret the symbolism and in-jokes here, but it DID make me laugh, so it’s in. How easily I am pleased…
Here’s another cracking little pic from @davidgilray to your right, punters – “Lola made me the happiest man on the 28th October 2003, we married at The Rock Hotel”. Awww. I have to say, Lola looks a complete babe, but you look a bit rough, mate. Bad stag night?
I’m going to afford @captain_doodle the luxury of three pics of his espousal (does that count? Shall we call that six?) to the babelicious @shelley…. shazbat, I can never remember her number. Anyway, three pics because (1) THEY’RE WONDERFUL PICS AND (2) I ACCIDENTALLY HIT CAPS LOCK and (3) he’s a blogger on here. Perks of the job.
They are “Realising there was no way through to the top table and having to squeeze past! Then the ceremony itself, and oh, g’wan then. One more, cos @shelley279 just looks amazing in this one”. 279, that’s the number!
I love this photo! @janegoth says “One of my favourite pics from our wedding. @intruth’s dad had a few embarrassing stories to tell” and then she stops! We want the embarrassing stories, Jane! How could you let us down so?
I do like this from @rhsfb12 – lovely dress, lovely bouquet, lovely suit. Good job they weren’t married outside in winter though, because… ah well, you know where I’m going with that one, finish it off yourselves.
Another funny ‘un, from @jaxbourne, who says “Where there is a will there is a way! My wedding day ( looks real to me)”. I shall now show my age by admitting I don’t know who that chappie is, but he seems to have forgotten his vest. He’ll catch his death.
Uh-oh – wasn’t sure at first whether to run with this one of @hastillonlyme and Giant Haystacks (right). She says “Oh well, if there’s an ‘it’s all gone wrong’ corner, here’s mine”. But then I realised she was so gorgeous I had to. Also, she posted the rather splendid pic on the left of “My Mum and Dad’s post war wedding”. And that photo is absolutely wonderful. Really. truly. Why has your Mum got her hand up a dog?
Here’s a lovely one – “Me and my best mate on my wedding day. 24th June 1995 Awwwwww!” says @fannyingabout. Now, I can’t be sarky about two such gorgeous smiles, now can I? Lesbian fantasies yes, sarcasm no. #badwombat #backinyourbox
Look! Laughing! Lots of laughing! This is @mallrat_uk, who says “This one pretty much sums up the happiness on our day!”
We’ve got a couple of belters now from @mum2rocky_mally – Wedding Part 1 in Scotland, Wedding Part 2 in Pakistan – 16 years ago. I wonder if I cross my eyes so the pictures go together…. YES! IT WORKS! 3D!!
OK, how many of you crossed your eyes to see the 3D? You’re as daft as me, honestly. Time for a threesome next, I think (blimey, it’s a few years since I suggested that). The following photos are from @kaPOWed, and I couldn’t choose between them, wonderful as they are. I did leave one out, though, mainly because my laptop screen isn’t two feet wide.
Olivia did try to help, bless her, in her own decisive way – “This is my fave pic from our wedding!No wait! This one… or one of these two. Erm, I’m never gonna be allowed back again am I? OK, seriously, use THIS one!” You’re just the sort of nutter I love, Sunshine.
A couple more great photos now (where oh where are the dodgy ones that I can make fun of?). Here are two of my favourite Canadians, @avensarah and @alliterative, plighting their troths (seven). I’m not sure I’ve ever had a troth to plight, but then I’m only a wombat.
More troth-plighting now from @macjude, in the first pic arriving with her dad (who looks a bit like a cool Matrix guy in those glasses), and then laughing with her new husband (who doesn’t). She is very keen to inform us that “unlike most brides I lost 2 stone after my wedding rather than before”. Actually, well done. Losing weight is not easy. I’m a wombat who knows.
I really like the simple happiness of this next pic, over on your right there. Tis captioned “The lovely @LolaGilray with flowers… and me”, and of course it comes from @davidgilray. That dress is gorgeous, by the way.
Oh my giddy aunt – Look on the left! It’s @crofty with hair! Strangely Playmobil type hair, too: maybe it really was a plastic hair-shaped helmet. Anyroad, our favourite Northerner called Crofty says “Finally got around to taking a picture of a wedding pic. Mrs C. Looks great – pity about the beardy-weirdy stood next to her!” She really does look great, Crofty – and so do you. Very smart. Nice hat. Nice cravat. Nice hair. He also went on to say “While reminiscing with aged aunt we came across this great wedding shot – she didn’t know whose wedding, but they look great.” I adore old photos – more, more!
Here’s another one for ‘it’s all gone wrong’ corner,this time from @sarahtregear. I’ll let her fill you in – “Found one… where did it go wrong? Ah yes, it was him having an affair when I was pregnant #vomits”. Maybe this should be called “What a wanker” corner.
Here’s @lilianlouvaine, who seems to be a bit of a swinger, as I always suspected. She says “Here’s a couple of my 1998 wedding – one on my own & one with Mr Lil, who looks about twelve”. That’s a heck of a nice room there – yours?
I find that I’m really enjoying the photos that you posted of older generations. Here’s another fine example from @louwiseman. She tells us this is “My parents’ wedding. I love this pic – they look so happy!”. I right enjoy the sense of time – look at the shape of the car window, for example. Brilliant.
Booze! Weddingy-type booze too, the best kind. And look, even some Dad-Dancing in the background – wonderful. This is from @katediamond, and is “My favourite of all our wedding photos. Sums up the day nicely.”
Now, @susiewoosie78 posted four gorgeous photos, which I’ve cut back to two by leaving out the one of her sticking her tongue out at us. Cos it’s RUDE. Naughty girl; stand in the corner. Also the one of her hubby looking cooler than cool, cos I’m the cool one round here matey. Here are the two photos left – the rather rural one of the happy couple, and “A cute one, hubby & his daughter”. Apparently, it was the first time Hubby had worn a kilt since he was 4. How often did he accidentally display his meat and two veg?
Bloody enormous bouquets alert! Blimey they’re flowery! This is @catinabaglady, who murmurs sensuously “My sister & I on my wedding day. Looks like we’re marrying each other”. That would be WEIRD. Please don’t put thoughts like that into my head, lest I go off on a lunatic flight of fancy….. managed to rein myself in. Phew. Now, what’s next?
Look at the gorgeous headdress your dad’s mum had on! This is a belting idea; thanks for doing this.
Viva Las Vegas! Here’s @richlieu_uk buying the cow (eight) with one of the most beautiful women in the world. Seriously, gorgeous. Erm, sorry Rich – inappropriate Wombat there. I’d get me coat, but I’ve got this blog to finish. Anyroad, Rich says “The King says it’s Wedding Day!” OK, but why is Shakin’ Stevens there?
@mrsactive tells us that “back in 2002 @sportology & I enjoyed the peace & quiet & a little moment to ourselves” Except for the photographer, of course. Nice dress – reminiscent of that Middleton woman’s frock.
What a great photo this is from @hc_illustrator – “Our wedding five years and a bit ago”, apparently. There’s a theme to this pic – nice pair of shades, nice pair of wine glasses, nice pair of…. erm, nice cleavage.
Now this looks very Russian, what with the skating and the coolest hats ever seen. This is @ellililalou, skating on the lake on her wedding day.
Here, look! It’s that @BvO79, who opines that this is an “excellent #Sundaypics”, and that this was “the “Happiest day of my life & would do it all again if I could (obviously with TW)”. Ah bless, happy smiles all round. Mind you, look at all the empty wine glasses and draw your own conclusions.
Here’s an interesting photo of @hunyock and OH planting the potatoes (nine). Oh alright, I made that one up. I’ve run out of marriage euphemisms. Just be thankful I didn’t make up a more suggestive one. I did briefly toy with “hunting the sausage”.
Maybe I should have made a subsection of this post for kids pics, cos they’re always brill. Our lovely @widget53 says “Our beautiful girl made up one fifth of the guests at our very relaxed and tiny wedding, three years ago on 20.3.08”. I read this wrongly at first, thinking that a fifth of your guests were fictional, created by your daughter, and perhaps represented by cardboard cutouts. I may have had too much coffee.
Beardy bloke alert! This from @moynsquidgeim – “Planning has started for my wedding day next year, I found this one of my parents in 1978” Ah yes, I thought that looked like a Seventies hat.
Some more lovely old photos now from @babymakingfiles of her mum and dad getting wed on a windy day, and her paternal grandparents’ wedding in the small photo. I love your gran’s outfit, and grandad looks well dashing in his uniform.
Who’s this trying to sneak in while I’m polidhing me trophies. Why, tis @talojo, whistling while placing her #sundaypics entry “on the pile discretely so no-one notices it’s late”. Also so no-one comments on your fantasy of marrying a robot shooty-dog-thing. And they say I’m odd.
Here’s a couple from occasional blogmeister @jamerz3294 of that magical day when he and his Barb decided to hunt the sausage (ten – yes, yes, OK, couldn’t resist). “Here’s us exchanging vows and slurping beer afterward”. Write the vows yourselves did you? How American. Oh wait, they are, so that’s OK (retracts sarcastic tone).
Another real classic on the left now as @ericafairs makes a quick revisit – “The old lady seated right is my great-great grandmother at a family wedding circa 1908. All dresses were handmade by my great grandmother”. Just wow, really. God the hats are AWE (wait for it) SOME!
And here we have my old Twittermate @underbundle, looking like a John Buchan hero about two months after the end of the book. Lovely pic, aksh.
We also heard from the bonny @heidivodka, and please don’t read this out loud to your kids, who said “Seeing as though I’m not married nor engaged here are some men I’d happily fuck”. Since the photographs were obviously under copyright somewhere, I’m going to have to describe them to you instead. Erm right, the first is me obviously… wait, come back! Only joking! The first pic shows a very serious-looking Jamie Bamber. You know, that dude out of BSG who got to snog all the women. Yes him. The second of @heidivodka’s fantasy men is…. who the hell is that? He’s wearing a nice coat, anyway. You know, thingy out of the Bourne films. Him. Anyway, since I’m boss round here, I’ve decided that @heidivodka can have them both at once. Some sort of oil could be involved.
Right loveys, that’s it (thank buggery) – this one has been the most painful one I’ve yet had to complete, thanks to not wanting to be too snarky about your pics. Oh, and about seventeen screensworth of scrolling above, I said “You’re going to have to wait till the end to see me and @little_mavis on our wedding day”. Here you go: this is us. God, she’s a gorgeous woman!