Well, hello you lot.
Doodle here, pretending to be Mr Wombat for this particular #sundaypics. I’ve got my fake stick-on Wombat beard in place and am furiously scribbling down innuendos as we speak. Right, this thing takes for ever to put together, so let’s roll…
This week it was FASHION DISASTERS! I’d asked for incriminating evidence of yourselves committing crimes against fashion from the distant – or not-so-distant – past, and boy, did you deliver with a plethora of dodgy outfits. Judge Zoolander of the Fashion Police is presiding. Here is the case for the prosecution…
Leading off is @Ariadnes_web with what can only be described as hospital scrubs, despite her assertion that it’s a tracksuit c.1986. “I never did any exercise in it”claims Jenny. Too right; you were clearly too busy performing operations… Next up, also from 1986, is @shonie1966, with a striking billowy bumblebee effort, and @FBishWife, resplendent in Hammer-style parachute trousers and multicoloured neon top. “In my defence I was 10” she pleads. The jurors will not be swayed. Judge Zoolander will decide your fate, missy… Completing the first batch is @SparklyGorgeous, whose case is thrown out as his top is rather good. In his defence, he’d actually put forward his 70s fireplace, which remains in custody for its patchwork jacket.
Har-har-@Hardyduncan leads off the next line-up of criminals with his sexy c.1995 tank top, looking chic in France by the look of it… “Do dungers count as a fashion disaster?” asks @nyncompoop. Borderline, I’d say, but she looks far too cute to be banged up based on this evidence… “The hair! The glasses! The Laura Ashley smock!” exclaims @hastillonlyme, looking rather Deirdre Barlow on her 21st birthday… Talking of hair, yoinks! it’s @MacJude in crazy, Shepherd-Book-after-shower-untethered-hair mode (www.tvsa.co.za/blogimages/firefly_book.jpg)
Shuffling next into the courtroom is young offender @notmetaltax with a greybluey honeycomb jumper featuring what appear to be bees cruelly skewered on a pole, fussball-style… @lucyhunter quickly proclaims her innocence, as she was on her way to an 80s party, so her neon n black nightmare is entirely deliberate… @kaPOWed’s “Hey, it was a festival” excuse may yet let her off the hook. Her V-festival outfit appears to include 24-carat solid gold boots! Bling!… Good lord! It’s @Crofty. With hair! And a lil’ fluffy ‘tache. And “dungarees fastened with a safety pin.” Cripes.
Frack me, there’s hundreds of you. Here comes @OldMotherRiley with her Morris kit, including jangly boots. “At least I got a go on the pump truck” she exclaims… @sarahpez saunters into the courtroom with her plastic bag slip-ons. “Look what they made me wear” she cries. Who are ‘they’, we all wonder. I’m guessing sinister government agents. Two by two, feet of blue (that’s two references now, Firefly fans!)… Wow, @davidgilray’s entry looks like a cracking retro poster. Lovely shot, including his revolutionary inflatable shorts… “Not mine!” protests @babymakingfiles, sporting some blue crocs provided to her by the clinic before IVF egg collection, apparently. Why one needs fancy plastic footwear for that I have no idea.
@talojo steps up to the, erm, judge’s desky thing. I wanted to say ‘oche’ there, but that’s clearly darts. She’s sporting a lovely dress and baseball cap combo, The ideal swingball get-up. Apparently she had a “cap with EVERY outfit” policy back in the day… and look, here’s @ToffeegirlUK with a 90s wraparound table cloth, alongside @Owlbird, who blames the parents for her bobble-hatted, puffy-panted outfit… and here’s @ericafairs, rocking the horizontal-stripes-and-emergency-downpour-yellowy-mac look.
@SplashMan gets a set all to himself in order to showcase his extraordinary disappearing shorts! Marvel as they recede as we go back in time. It appears that the socks were part of this strange equation as well. From regimental in the 60s, to half-mast, then none at all as we plunge into the 70s.
Ooof, red and orange. Glow-in-the-dark orange t’boot. A very serious crime, young man. @jamerz3294 needs locking away with no chance of parole ;)… “It was 1975” is all @Hebbie has to say in her defence. Her top is a colour explosion!… Vroooom! Here comes @Tonihill79 driving a boat in a lime green skirt and luminous top and bum bag combo… rounding up this set of offenders is @LettyP1, camouflaging herself amongst the living room furniture. “Don’t know what possessed me” she gasps. Indeed.
The one and only @wombat37 takes centre stage in the courtroom with this set; 1) “early Wombat Mesozoic era” in smashing cap, 2) Fab n groovy hippy type dude, and 3) Rupert The Bear… Rounding off the four is @kirtle. Aww, doesn’t she look cute, but woah, check out that top!
Yowser, it’s only me, innit. @captain_doodle comin atcha in luminous pyjamas alongside @antiiiiiii, then in hideously shiny, highly flammable late 80s favourite, the shellsuit. Completing the Doodle treble is this grey jumpered number although, actually, I’d probably wear that Knight Rider top now in a cool retro stylee. To finish the four we have the missus, @shelley279, lookin’ like she’ll belt yer if you say owt about her outfit, so I’ll keep quiet on that one 😉
It’s another triple, this time from @RHSFB12. Woah, those are some natty troos! And look, there’s the other half of the outfit in pic 2. Multicoloured tartan madness. Too insane to wear as an all-in-one! Finishing off the trilogy is her “female participant at a nerd party.” lol. Completing the four is @Mazster251, snoozing away in a sheep disguise in his crazy 70s-beshirted big bro’s arms.
Aww, doesn’t @Jaxbourne look cute in her Little House on the Prairie outfit. She does, however, bear an uncanny resemblance to those Dolly Toilet Roll Covers That Your Nan Used To Have. Extraordinary… Sitting on an adjacent stack of toilet rolls is @naff_caff, all dolled up in a dress, and wearing big persons’ shoes!… Ooh, it’s Magnum P.I… no wait, it’s @Bv079 looking like the “coolest kid down the park.” Not quite Miami Vice is it – down the local dog poo infested Rec… and here comes double trouble, @BeckaLFC and twin sister in red, looking ever so slightly The Shining.
Sporting a bear hat and a replica 1940s RAF coat, it’s @AaronKelly. “Don’t ask” he says. Fair enough, let’s speculate instead. I’m plumping for The Superted/Inspector Gadget Appreciation Society annual bash. Here he is again. Technically let off because it’s a costume, but it’s still one heck of a costume!.. @Och23 rounds off the set with two pics; her and her sisters, and two years old in 1976. Ahh, the 70s – the decade of brown.
Teehee, it’s the fabulous @MannyMunkeh next on the stand. What was he thinking with this “seriously dodgy hairdo”, dudes… Now for a tasty triple helping of @Puddled_Pudding. First up it’s the Swampy years, followed swiftly by lil’ 80s sailor girl, and then kitted out in an “awful stripey dress.”
Next in front of Judge Zoolander is @davidtims. That is if he is still alive after posting this pic of him and @julietims without full permission! Julie’s mustard top is actually quite a nice colour; even more so when you compare it to the “dodgy cardigan that is fifty years too old for me” sported by David… next is @kingfamily, who attributes her ‘look’ to being in the midst of a Donny Osmond phase… “I’m the Miami Vice girl with the mullet!” says @aprecious, snapped here with her sister back in ’84. Some impressive hair on show all round… @robmorrey rounds off the foursome with this very colourful early 90s wedding pic. He’s the one on the right with the green trousers.
“Not sure if hat, glasses or dress is worse” is the cry from @MrsAshborosCat. It’s a close run thing! Right, prepare yourselves, it’s the @Alliterative triple bill; 1) Mullet! 2) Levitating trousers 3) Aww, little Alliterative in socks n sandals. Numbers 2 and 3 “could easily have been my sundaypics”, he says. I’m afraid they also are, having been rounded up into the van during the Fashion Police raid.
@little_mavis kicks off the next batch with her Aussie Rules get-up. I love the Hawthorn colour combo, but it’s the red that takes it over the edge. And here she is again, this time in raspberry jumpsuit/dungarees and tan jacket. Nice… @greythorne strolls in with Robert Smith hair and grey cardi on a Paris trip, but it’s the shortest-shorts-in-the-world and tank top combo that jumps out in her second photo.
@white76 doesn’t think much of her knitted waistcoat, @chickenprincess nominates her “worst dressed (but happy) child on the planet”, @AvenSarah looks ooo-la-lah in pink, trying to out-fashion the French girls she was staying with, and @Snowgirl1972, looking very Sloane Rangery ladies wot lunch, advises us to “check out the earrings.” Ah, so that’s where the Christmas decorations went.
A couple of crackers from @HC_Illustrator now; first up is a 70s holiday complete with sun visor. Blimey, I had one of those. Following that, we have an ‘everything pulled up to the max’ shot!… joining in with the fashion fun is @KatCarmOSU (pictured here in the pink) – my eyes! my eyes! It’s like an explosion in a pattern factory!… and here comes @Vegmers with some ‘interesting’ hair. She’s helpfully put together a bit o’ descriptive text here, to save me having to do it – http://amachinations.mooo.com/2011/03/13/fashion-disaster.
Aaaand, finally, the last batch of miscreants are brought before the judge. A double from @carolthescot, first standing to attention in a natty grey ensemble with what appears to be a floral hat, then in burgundy grinning like a loon with her sister with more socks pulled up to the max!… @Island252 (on the right) is next, with some “high fashion in 1970” alongside her sister, who is also in the running for best Toilet Roll Dolly… And we finish in 1976 with @doodledawne, looking as happy as can be, clinging to a monkey in her Harry Hill collared shirt.
Well, it looks like there’s been a late reprieve, as Judge Zoolander has been replaced with Judge Hansel at the last minute, and he’s much more chilled out and lenient n stuff. He’s let you all off with a collective caution. That Hansel; he’s so hot right now.
Thanks for all your contributions. Case dismissed.
DOODLE APPENDIX (for those who don’t know what I’m blathering on about)…
TOILET ROLL DOLLS – freaky lookin’ bog paper guardians… http://www.toilet.bloginterior.com/toilet-roll-doll/
FIREFLY – all kinda awesome… en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Firefly_(TV_series)
ZOOLANDER & HANSEL – en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zoolander