Monthly Archives: October 2011
Almost all of you will remember what a HUGE success #TWANTA was last year. It made so many people smiley-happy that of course I’ll be running one again this year. So that #TWANTA2011 tweets don’t get lost in my normally pretty hectic timeline, this year I’ll be running it from its own account –
For those of you who didn’t take part, it works like this *does Ctrl-C, Ctrl-V from last year’s post*:
Those who want to take part will act as a Secret Santa for one of the others, buying and sending a small gift anonymously to that person. If you take part, you’ll get a surprise pressie for Christmas, which you should then photograph ready to post on Twitter for the special Christmas #Sundaypics. Sound like fun?
1. If you want to join in, follow @twanta2011. I’ll follow back from that account so that you can DM your address to it. Nearer the time, once I’ve sorted through all the participants (there were 120 last year, so it might take a while) I’ll give your address to your own Secret Santa.
2. Once I tell you who you are being Secret Santa for, buy a small, fun gift (no more than £5 or foreign equivalent, although I recommend about two quid just to exercise the imagination and the funny bone), and send it to them, anonymously if you like. Say “HO HO HO!” in a jolly manner.
3. When you receive your own pressie, take a photograph of it ready to enter it for the Christmas #Sundaypics (which may well be Christmas Day since that’s a Sunday this year).
After the event, I’ll destroy all the addresses so that I’m not transgressing that thingy about Data Protection and stuff.
PS If you fancy having a go in TWO of these things, the admirable @_gAiL__ is also planning to run one, which you can read about on her Twistmas Blog.
There’s something about being away from civilisation for a while, birdsong in your ears, wind gusting at your beard, that recharges your inner battery. This morning I spent a couple of hours up on the moor above Haslingden Grane. Apart from a few scraggy sheep and the odd grass snake, I was the only one up there. It was chill and grey, but for those two hours I felt at peace. The only downside was the thought of how much Ben would have loved it up there. Here are some photographs. Click on them to see larger versions with more oomph.
The sun struggles to light up Ogden Reservoir:
“I am a dry-stone-waller. All day I dry-stone-wall. Of all appalling callings dry-stone-walling’s worst of all”:
Jamestone Quarry, looking a bit spooky:
Arty close-up of the colours in an ‘ordinary’ wall:
A sign of autumn – dead stuff:
A splash of colour in a dismal wood:
Down by Jamestone Quarry:
Despite the temptation, do NOT ballet-dance near the cliff-edge:
Here are the answers to your Flicktionary TV photos, as near as I can get using my swiss-cheesey mind. There’s quite a few I’ve not been able to work out, so I’ll have to rely on your help. PLEASE let me know if you get one that I didn’t. The winner of the “Send In The Answers” quiz, by virtue of actually sending in his answers, is the mighty @richlieu_uk. I can think of no finer man deserving of your kudos. I must say, chickadees, that I was a bit disappointed that no one attempted Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go!
Here we go then, how many did you spot?….
“The Sopranos” from #SUNDAYPICS debutant @37ellie – this one fooled me entirely, but then it is pretty clever (Bass, Tenor, Alto…. geddit?)
Next, let’s see – the first of these two is Soup-ER something Alf. GREAT drawing of Alf, by the way @waywardlou – I can’t get this one, unless it IS the classic Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go! The second from @quantumtree, I believe, is “Angel”, one of the best telly programmes ever. That’s a pretty damned fine photograph, too.
@em_and_lola provided this catty selection, where two out of ten cats are different. Hmmm, what could it possibly be? “Two Out Of Ten Cats”, naturally. Rather giving the game away, but with a beautiful drawing, is @candysherbet with “Playschool”.
Next up we have @dbrereton taxing my brain, until I realised his “Next on BBC1” was actually an important clue. This car has a ‘Y’ on it, so next would be….? That’s it, “Z Cars”. Clever one, that. The second, from @sjnewton, took me back many years to the horribly animated “Crystal Tipps and Alistair”.
Only people of a certain age will have got @oldmotherriley’s collection of loads of kids, a cracker, a car jack, and (the giveaway) those cabbages. Yes, it’s “Crackerjack”, which featured a game where kids had to hold on to cabbages if they answered a question wrongly. And I can’t imagine what the cube from @hallmork might represent. Oh wait – “The Cube”. I’m so slow.
@hallmork also provided us with a pooch bravely killing some jelly babies. She told me at the time what it was, but in typical Wombat fashion I’ve completely forgotten. Dimwit. I also have no idea about this 75 one from @ButMadNNW. Perhaps you can help?
The maestro of the Sharpie, @captain_doodle, designed us these stonkingly good works of art. The first? “Seinfeld” I believe (sign felled – geddit?), and the second is obviously the legendary children’s serial, “Condom Goalie”. What? There wasn’t? Oh. I do wonder what goes on inside my head sometimes. Is there a telly programme called “Saved by the Bell”, I wonder?
Again, my mind is blank about @alexbrightsmith’s entry, unless it’s that late night porn-channel thing, “Blue Orifice”? No? I give in then. But awww, look at the @scullyscully’s bag with a puss in it. It can only be “Bagpuss”.
I feel that the first one here from @ericafairs MUST be “Morse”, although I can’t be arsed looking up what it means…. oh bollocks, alright then. *Googles* AAAAH! Well now, that’s improved my mood greatly. I love you Erica. For a long time I believed that @ariadnes_web had thought we were on films again, and that her delightful photograph showed “A River Runs Through It”, n’est-ce pas? It now strikes me that she may have been going for “Brookside” all along, and I have been mightily unfair.
Most prolific of all on Flicktionary Sunday was @sarahhanner who provided us with THREE entries. Let’s see… “Gardener’s World”, “One Man and His Dog” and “Teenage Mutant Ninja Sperm” … no wait – “Spooks”. The fourth one here is from @RHSFB12, and is one of my favourite telly progs – “Castle”.
OK, I know @thetiniestvole said that this first pic was a ‘joke’ entry, and isn’t meant to represent a programme at all, but I’m going to have a try anyway – “That’s Life”, or possibly “Embarrassing Bodies”? And @_aaronkelly’s almost pre-Raphaelite artistic talents can only be “The Only Way Is Essex”.
Da da da derder derder da dah, der der der da dah der… yes, it’s Match of the Day, courtesy of the lovely @little_mammy. And the second is… erm, it’s from @jofilm, and must have taken AGES. Erm, it’s…. damn, she let slip what it was as well. When will I ever learn? “Always write stuff down cos a wombat’s memory is… what the hell’s that word now?”
These two pics from @friendlysolrflr – lovely cat by the way – can only be “Bones”, that detectivey thing that’s got Angel in it.
Oooh, a puzzle one! I like puzzle ones! Let’s see about this one from @richlieu_uk. The first arrow’s pointing at a little cowboy standing next to Michael Heseltine, then there’s a pile of pigeons, a small bedpan, and a clock. Hmmm… might have to have a mull about this one. The second one seems simple, however. Erm, since this theme was for 9th October, would I be right in thinking it is “The Tomorrow People”, @davidtims? I *adore* these clever ones… ooh, “Hancock’s Half Hour”!
First we have some dogs from @lindacoggs – is it “Crufts”? No, that would be too obvious. I know! “Snow Dogs”, that well known television programme that was really a film. And look at this awesome pic from #SUNDAYPICS newbie, @annasportel – it MUST be “Friends”. Well played.
Boobs! This first pic from @och23 must be my favourite programme of all time – “Boob Train” – or is that a tractor? Oh look, sheep! In that case, this must be “The Body Farm”. And here’s a clever one from @missmandymoo78, which I can’t even pretend not to know right away – “One Tree Hill”.
Last couple now – firstly a second entry from that @missmandymoo78, which appears to show the largest fart ever seen. Oh wait, it’s “Top of the Pops” innit? And finally, one for you oldies from me – which of you remembers “Double Your Money”?
PLEASE let me know what the ones I didn’t get are, I beg of you.
Lots of things are great about Twitter – it’s a magnificent source of knowledge, it’s the best and fastest place to get news (apparently, news of the recent earthquake travelled faster than the earthquake itself), and it’s a fine repository of amusing animal photographs.
The most rewarding aspect for me, though, is the way it has introduced me to a growing number of magical, fascinating, intelligent, caring people who just happen to also be amongst the funniest on the planet. For example, I recently mentioned idly that it was my birthday next week. Three days later (three days!) a package arrived at Wombat Towers. It was from @hugeshark, a Twitter best friend in San Diego. It contained – well, take a look at the first couple of pics here.
A cuddly wombat! A selection of exotic chocolates! A picture of a semi-naked woman! That’s like my three favourite things. I love @hugeshark and want to have her babies. Did I tell you she’s a good singster? Check out her blog page.
Anyway, let’s cut to the chase – I need to name this cuddly wombat. I had a SHEDLOAD of suggestions on Twitter – Akabar, Frank, Derek (after the laptop?), Bomble (which I *quite* like), Tabmow, Bruce Diego (from @anniesten), Dingbat or Splat, Uncle Bulgaria or Fish. Or Darren. Darren, FFS. Up there on the right somewhere you’ll find a poll. Vote for your favourite name.
Oh, and to @hugeshark – thank you, my splendid friend.
Honestly, I was expecting nice little close-ups of sheep and teddy bears and celery or whatever the hell the design is on everyone’s PJs. Once again, though, I’d forgotten the inventiveness of you lot. Not so *many* entries for this category, tis true, but as usual there were some right belters. Oh, and @flossietp – your favourites will be the last two pics – you might want to scroll to the end. Here we go then – belters ahoy! What do YOU wear to bed, Alex?
“The definitive answer is, of course” answers @alexbrightsmith “Chanel No 5. Having knelt on an ant nest, my response is sadly less seductive”.
Anthisan No 5 I see.
In the middle of the heat wave, @xkylet bundled himself up in a big old duvet. “Morning I had really cold feet last night! It’s never that hot in my flat, luckily. I only get the evening sun”. Nesh bugger.
Here’s @scullyscully – “I’d prefer pjs by E. H. Shepard but W. Disney will have to do. I adore Piglet”. I loathe Disneyfied Pooh. The Englishness has entirely disappeared.
“This is what I wear in bed” says “@ariadnes_web. Mmmmm silky!
Making a triumphant return to #SUNDAYPICS is the fearless @_aaronkelly. The man is sex on a stick, truly.
And over on the left, @_aaronkelly’s four-legged friend Simba wanted to get in on the act too.
@cymraescoch titillates your friendly wombat with “I can’t bear wearing anything in bed! So…how to photograph that? Like this….complete with bed hair” Awww! Brush your hair, you Welsh slattern.
Here’s another nuddy zizzer – @missmandymoo78 posted this photo of what she wears in bed. Ha ha ha! What do you hang it from?
A mid-morning post from @flylilypad – we were apparently lucky she was still in them. I’m saying nothing. She made that blankie, by the way.
Twitterwit @hyperbolicgoat announces “Here is my #SUNDAYPICS entry for Jimmyjams. Enjoy, everyone”. Best entry by far. Except for the nuddy ones, obv.
@andromedababe just wears this, she says. Let’s see – fingernails, toenails and….. where does the third bottle go? I’m so innocent….
Look at this – a “pant” FFS? How can that be a singular word? Anyway, @moynsquidgeim “doesn’t intend on taking these off all day”. There’s slattern number two, for you. Also, how do you put them on with that constrictive paper band in the way? You must be *very* slim.
“Ready for counting sheep” says @monosy. Erm – eight, and a bit of a head. Also that looks an AWESOME HWB and I want one.
Here’s @justjimwilldo pointing out something none of us would have noticed otherwise, bless him – “I honestly didn’t notice the little flannel erection!”
Just had to show you this one on the right from @avensarah – cute PJs!
“Can we fix it?” queries the mighty @ceee_j. “Hell yes, but he probably broke it in the first place” Butter wouldn’t melt.
“My favourite pyjama photo of all time, Christmas Eve 2009”. Aw, look at those eyes! Remember that feeling when Christmas was special and didn’t spread over the last three months of the year? Good photo, @superblouse.
From @em_and_lola – “Lola when she was teeny tiny wearing her jimmyjam” – zebra PJs FTW!
And on the left is is our own @chazlet indulging in “Sunday snuggles with little dude”
Whoa! Sexy nightwear from @jaxbourne! “Yes my jimjams have feet and ears! … Yes, I know I’m hot as 0)” The nightcap is AWESOME.
Kitten attack! Lookout! Oh wait, @sarahtregear says this is “a photo of C in pjs being woken up by a kitten”. Oh, woken up? Not mauled? Bit less dramatic, but OK. And then she shows us HER “Little Miss Bad PJs” (right). She seems to have gone all 2D and invisible. Still, I’m no dimensionist.
Four apposite pics from @hallmork – “Who’s the guy in the background with the flat cap and ‘tache” (I think I know), then “Dont ask about the guy in the middle – was at a party in Newquay last night. was brilliant to see so many jimjam opportunities” (Tell me about the blonde though…), then “Isnt he dapper? No idea his name but he was a funny bloke” (funny blokes are the BEST) and “Wee wullie winkie” (I’m saying nothing).
And over to the left now, it’s @aprecious’s arse, look. “Not everyone can carry off the checks and stripes thing” is her opinion, and I reckon that’s right. My arse always looks big in checks. Also in stripes, plain material, and naked. Let’s face it, I have a huge arse.
A comestible tweet now, of which I expected far more than appeared – @scyrene shows us “my pyjamas with a jar of homemade jam (get it Jimmy-JAMS)”. Didn’t that make them all sticky? Ick.
“Jimmyjams!” squeals @richlieu_uk, like a little girl high on Refreshers, “My #Sundaypics attempt. Subtle, elegant, timeless”. Erm yes. What’s that weird sexual device on the floor?
“Oh no need to dig out the jammies! Found a pic from last year. Score.” reports @Nyncompoop And Her Exploding Hair.
Here’s that lovely @englishkirsty to show us “the boys in their PJ’s and Nipper”. Nipper? What’s AAARGH! DEVIL RATTHING!
Getting late on in the day, now (well, about six), and @snowgirl1972 was “about to get my jim jams on. Night guys”. Sleep well, missus.
And now it’s time to play “Splash the Spotman!” … no wait, reverse that … “Spot the Splashman!” Yes, @splashman has slipped into bed here. Somewhere.
Interesting shot now from my beloved @flossietp – “Not exactly jim jams, but think she’s kipping” she explains. I like her big feather, obviously used for some sexual dalliance or other.
Two lovely pics here from @alliterative – “Okay, best I could manage—E2 and me going for a walk this morning”. Awwww!
It’s @lilac_dreamer presenting us with “It’s a double #SundayPics from me and @gwane… Jimmyjams”. Awwww! (damn!)
Now we’re getting a bit more grown-up, finally, with this hot silky number from @RHSFB12 in her “Jimjams..not bad for a mature woman”. MILF alert!
@quantumtree posted two pics of sexylegs (over on the right there) and then proceeded to witter on about Dr. Who. See – “I had to post two this week. Pic one, both, or none. How awesome was Who last night P.S. BBC UK won’t let me watch online”. Sorry, you lost me at ‘legs’.
I’m just going to make this one quite large cos it makes me wibble slightly. Tis @waywardlou, who says “Okay, here’s my #sundaypics #jimjams #inthisweatheryoumustbenuts”. Oh yes, I remember, it was warm wasn’t it? Thank you, Weather God.
Special @flossietp Section
I *know* she’ll like these two photographs, but obviously only for their artistic merits, since she is so demure. The first is from @yura_toole – “Almost time for bed so jimmyjams for #Sundaypics – or the lack of them” Nice wall decor there.
And finally, the remarkable @sjnewton posted a picture “for your eyes only, Mr. Wombat”.
Oh. Sorry, mate.
This is merely a short post to test blogging from my new phone. Nothing to see. Move right along now.
So, Dragon Age is SO full of delights. Here’s one of them:My mage, Flax, has been captured and is being held prisoner in the Naked Dungeon of Nakedness in Fort Drakon. Oh no, poor Flax! Note louche fellow prisoner at the back trying to impress her with his coolth.
“What’s your business in Fort Drakon” – Let Stinky… bluff?
“What’s wrong with him?” – Leave this to Stinky.
“He whimpers pitifully”
“All right. All right. Take him into the side room there. I’ll go get the captain to let you through. Just…. hang in there, OK?”
“This is pointless. We should simply go in fighting”
– Stinky whines.
“And now I’m talking to an animal. I’ve been in this country too long”
“All right, what’s this about?” – Leave this to Stinky.
“Is that a pure bred mabari?”
“Very well, take him through. And tell Neville I want a word with him when you get there”