Having trouble separating your twanta from your twantee? Completed your trifecta yet? Got no bloody idea what I’m talking about? Then this blog post will save you from social embarrassment akin to leaving the Ladies with your skirt tucked into the back of your knickers.
TWANTA – this word has two meanings. Firstly it is the all-encompassing name for the whole cosy event itself, although usually with the relevant year attached to its tail. Secondly, the Twanta is the person sending a gift. It is the Twanta’s own choice whether or not to remain secret.
TWANTEE – the person receiving said gift, with a smile and a song.
TWANTADOR – general term for anyone taking part.
TRIFECTA – the magic three milestones achieved by a Twantador who has sent a gift, learned that it has arrived, and received their own.
TWUMBUG – a dirty rapscallion who fails to send a gift as promised (see last year).
TWAT – see TWUMBUG.
FAIRY – a good-hearted TWANTADOR who volunteers to step in and provide a gift at short notice for anyone who falls victim to a TWUMBUG.
TWANTAVERSE – every bloody thing to do with Twanta. Constantly expanding.
EPISTLETOE – a hand-written letter included with the gift (see above) to add a virtual Christmas kiss and a personal touch. Not to be confused with Camel Toe, which is something else completely.
Participants in #TWANTA2013
If you’re not listed here and you think you should be, let me know sharpish. Also tell me if for some reason @twanta2013 is not following you back. DM me your address if you haven’t already.