Monthly Archives: September 2019

Even Colin Murray has lost his allure

RIP Bury FCSince #BuryFC got thrown out of the league an unexpected thing has happened – I’ve lost interest in football altogether. I’d imagined that after a week or two I’d maybe pop along to Accy, or maybe Rochdale, just to watch a match – but I just don’t care any more. I used to look forward to the EFL highlights on Saturday evening, but now even Colin Murray has lost his allure.

I don’t even look at the results any longer, and I have no idea who tops any table, or languishes at the bottom. It’s as if football itself has kicked me right in the bollocks and my mind has just gone “Well fuck you, then”. I hope my love of the game returns when (if) The Shakers do, but for now it seems that I was a Bury fan more than a football fan.

What are those five stages of grief again? Oh yes, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and being kicked in the bollocks by football.


“Mutiny! It will be a hundred lashes of the cat for you!”
“Oh no, not Mr. Tibbles? Poor ship’s moggy.”
Comedy pirates ahoy in my new little book, ‘CROW’. Shiver me timbers, as they say. Click the cover image to see it on Amazon.

Crow cover mermaid waterhouse

Things I Miss About Being in Hospital


My recent heart scare gave me a worrying few days in an environment full of beeps and scurry. I’m chuffed to be back home & healthy, but still, there are a few things I miss from those few days.

1. The tea and toast trolley at 9.30pm.
2. Ticking the lunch and supper lists at breakfast.
3. Lounging about in a robe all day.
4. Seriously tasty chickpea curry.
5. The friendly professionalism of doctors and nurses.
6. Hiding from the world & seeing no news.
7. Mid-day naps.
8. A nurse applying arse ointment.

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