Category Archives: Doodle
Jingly balls, jingly balls, jingly up your tree. It’s time for #TWANTA2017 to shove another tree up another fairy’s frock and display his shiny balls for the eighth time. For the uninitiated, it was all @captain_doodle’s idea. There he is on the right, with some eejit or other. Those taking part in Twanta send a cheap but fun gift to someone that I nominate, possibly a complete stranger, and in return they receive a similar pressie from someone else. TWitter secret sANTA, see? As usual I’ll link you to the blog post from @davidtims from a few years ago which beautifully sums up the spirit of Twanta.
FOR NOW, JUST TELL ME IF YOU WANT TO TAKE PART so that I can add you to the Master Wallchart here at Twanta Towers.
I’ll give people a few weeks to join, and you’ll receive the name of your Twantee shortly after that, around the end of October. Old hands of Twanta will know all the following already, but for any newcomers here’s a summary of how the whole thing works.
You must have specifically asked me, and I must have confirmed that you’re taking part before you can join in. I reserve the right to reject anyone that I suspect of being dodgy. This is due to a slight wobble that happened several years back for two of our lovely twantadors (see below for a glossary of terms).
Make sure you follow @twanta2017 on Twitter. He (it’s me really, but don’t tell the little tweeters. Let’s not spoil the magic, eh?) will follow you back. DM your address to him so that he can pass it on to your own Secret Twanta when everyone is paired up. I do remember some of your addresses from last year, but once #Twanta2017 is over I will always delete the addresses of those who ask. If the Twitter Unfollow Bug causes @twanta2017 to unfollow you, let me know so that I can correct that.
Tell me if there are any mortal enemies that you don’t want to be paired with. We don’t want to be responsible for any “incidents”. You can also make other special requests (e.g. if you’re allergic to chocolate, or perhaps you don’t want to post anything to a different country). We are a benign Twanta, and will accept all reasonable requests.
Very occasionally things go awry, and when that happens Twanta Fairies step in to send a gift at short notice. Please also let us know if you would be happy to be a volunteer Fairy, should any be required (though that’s only rarely necessary).
Once @twanta2017 has everyone’s address, he’ll DM you to let you know to whom you should send a gift (grammar), together with their address. You might want to spend a little while researching their timeline to find out a little bit about them. Yes, that’s a bit stalkery, but you’ll be able to make your gift a bit more personalised that way.
Buy a pressie for your twantee (as the recipients have somehow come to be known) and send it to them. Mark the envelope #TWANTA so they know what it is. Let @twanta2017 know that you’ve posted it (so I can keep track in case anything goes missing). It’s entirely up to you whether you remain anonymous or expose yourself *snigger*.
You do not need to spend a fortune. Small, fun and imaginative is the rule of thumb, but don’t send an actual thumb. That would be hideous. I recommend spending no more than a tenner, though that of course is up to you. The photographs accompanying this post are of some previous gifts, should you need inspiration.
When you receive your #TWANTA pressie, again let @twanta2017 know. Challenge yourself to wait until Christmas Eve or Day to open the thing. Harness your willpower, grasshopper.
When your willpower fails, take a photo of your gift ready to post to Twitter on Christmas Day. Post it including the hashtag #TWANTAPIX2017 so that we can all follow the fun, and I can collect the pics on a special Pinterest board. Here’s last year’s board.
Have fun, and, if it all goes tits up, remember that it was originally all the idea of that @captain_doodle, and castigate him mercilessly. Not me, oh no, leave me alone.
Having trouble separating your twanta from your twantee? Completed your trifecta yet? Got no bloody idea what I’m talking about? Then this section will save you from social embarrassment akin to leaving the Ladies with your skirt tucked into the back of your knickers.
TWANTA – this word has two meanings. Firstly it is the all-encompassing name for the whole cosy event itself, although usually with the relevant year attached to its arse (eg #TWANTA2017). Secondly, the Twanta is the person sending a gift. It is the Twanta’s own choice whether or not to remain secret.
TWANTEE – the person receiving said gift, with a smile and a song and possibly other things beginning with ‘S’.
TWANTADOR – general term for anyone taking part, bless their little cotton reindeer socks.
TRIFECTA – the magic three milestones achieved by a TWANTADOR who has (1) sent a gift, (2) learned that it has arrived, and (3) received their own.
TWUMBUG – a dirty rapscallion who fails to send a gift as promised.
FAIRY – a good-hearted TWANTADOR who volunteers to step in and provide a gift at short notice for anyone who falls victim to a TWUMBUG.
TWANTAVERSE – every bloody thing to do with Twanta. Constantly expanding.
EPISTLETOE – a hand-written letter included with the gift to add a virtual Christmas kiss and a personal touch. Not to be confused with Camel Toe, which is something entirely different.
Here’s a brief, rambling post about Twitter identity, inspired by @captain_doodle’s Human Fruit Machine. Since I’m currently sans laptop, I’m typing this on my phone, and can’t br arse watching for autocorrect cook-ups. Ant odd word use should be put down to this rather than the state of my mind.
Doodle’s game, essentially trying to get three followers in a roe with the same fruit, required the changing of one’d Twitter avatar to a fruit. I was a plum, due to its suitability for double-engenders. The game itself proved great fun, but I notices an unexpected side-effect. People stopped talking to mjy. Normally garrulous individuals who were mote than happy to chat to the beard wazxock in the flowers completely ignored any tweets emanating from the strangle grape-like person.
Others have noticed this phenomenon too. @underbundle said “I was completely ignored once after changing my avatar and had to change back”
“Avatars have much more impact when scrolling a timeline, IMO. So much more immediate, especially on a small phone screen” said @beanobundle, “I’m sure you’ll be flooded w tweeps asking where you’ve been”
Another (locked) user said “People so closely identify the Twitter self with the real self”, while Doodle himself pointed out the natural human resistance to change: “Yes, strange how resistant people are to change as well. ‘what’s all this?’ ‘i’m confused’ ‘where are my trousers, Marjorie?'”
Not sure where I’m going with this, otherthan to point out that to many Twitter followers you ARE your avatar, and to change it often might risks alienating people who liked you enough to follow you. We human-brings use visual recognition hugely; don’t change your face too often lest people forget who you are.
Again, sorry about the autocirrects. Where are my trousrs, Marjorie?
Hey, sundaypiccerers, guest blogger @captain_doodle comin’ atcha…
Firstly, a big thanks to all those who took part in a fun, frantic Sunday of number crunching. I asked for numbers and boy did I receive them in droves! When I set the theme (find and photograph numbers and, as an added twist, help fill a card, bingo-stylee, with the numbers 1-50 on a ‘first come, first served’ basis) I wasn’t sure how it’d go. As it turned out twas a rip roarin’ success with more than enough to call BINGO! by mid-afternoon. Here’s the final Doodle Bingo grid in all its glory…