Category Archives: Twanta2018
was sent a gift by
At the risk of being stupidly cheesy I would like to share what Twanta has meant for me this year. So due to various things we are having a very quiet Christmas, my children and I. My family are hundreds of miles away and my ex ‘accidentally’ forgot to send my present from my children so a gift less Christmas was very much a reality. My Twanta gift was a Ray of sunshine. I also loved a soupcon of stalking and hope my twantee loves their gift. Thank you so much for a little light in the darkness.
That’s a a message I received yesterday about this year’s Twanta, shared with permission. It kind of sums up what this annual sharing of pressies between strangers means to me: a feeling of inclusion, and of friendship, and that the world might not be entirely made of cack after all. So (as you young folk are prone to begin your sentences these days), it’s Christmas Eve, and I thought you’d like a little Twanta update. First of all, and bringing a big smile for me, there were no Twumbugs. Every single person who asked to take part this year has posted their gift, and for that you have my sincere thanks. It’s you folk that make Twanta work, not me, with your generosity and fun-filled enthusiasm and astonishing skills with sellotape.
I just wanted to drop you a message to thank you for organising such a wonderful event. Twanta2018 has lifted my soul after a really shitty year. You are the epitome of Christmas Spirit.
Other stats leap out of my massive, multicoloured Twanta spreadsheet. On average, gifts sent within the UK took 4 days to reach their destination. Presents sent from one country to another took 8 days. There have been a few snags along the way, of course, such as the courier who couldn’t read the number 7, and someone having to prove to the Post Office that their ‘wacky’ twitter id was actually them. I’m not beyond mistakes, either, giving out the wrong address to one Twantador. Hilarity ensued.
As I write there are still 12 Twanta gifts ‘in transit’, which is about usual. Some will arrive after Christmas, I’m afraid, but we are subject to the winds and whims of postal services. Others will be simply that the recipient forgot to tell me their gift arrived. Be that as it may,tomorrow is TWANTA REVEAL DAY! I know that you’ll all be busy, but if you could please take the time to take a pic of your Twanta gift and post it to Twitter with the hashtag #TWANTA2018 we can all have a rollicking time admiring each other’s gifts.
Thank you @twanta2018 for another year of festive feel goods. As always, I am both humbled and heart warmed by it all. Roll on Tuesday!
Finally, I really do appreciate all your messages of thanks for this years Twanta. I’m delighted that you all enjoy it every year, but do remember also to direct some gratitude to our inventive captain, @captain_doodle, who thought up this whole thing. There he is on the left, look, peering in my bathroom window again, the big perv.
@_polyhymnia @alliterative @anise44 @approvedproduct @avensarah @azzathepirate @babalooblue @basdriver @becmajor @bilbobaggins2k @blossomxcat @bywordandstitch @captain_doodle @cara_erin @carly_whyborn @cdlcreative @cherina82 @cherries109 @chrisgn @chrisridd @ClaireWithAn_I @confusedlinnet @craftsboy @crazyladywriter @cumbrianblondie @davidtims @dawn1968 @dbrereton @dutch_bitch @emma_esl @evermoreanon @f41rygirl @fannyingabout @fantasticpru @fisher1946 @flylilypad @gemmajoobjoob @ginlington @greythorne @helibobs84 @hugeshark @iainlj @jaxtipsyknits @jayalay @joraamn @katobell @kaylou_4 @kirstyhalton @kirstywarner @kizletwiggle @kjhighsocks @ladyjuliejools @lemurlotte @leontia2001 @lgh95 @Lisey_loo @lockiebaws @LolInKent @lottacraft @louisehector @lovelockou @LucieMR @LydiaMNicola @magentakoru @maggie_dolores @mallrat_uk @manctoby @michigander58 @miladycheryl @misslockstock @missmastery @mrsashboroscat @mrssimontemplar @nickatthemill @NicolaCubes @nikkisinclair64 @ninjaworrier @obibronkenobi @owlbird @patellagirl @phantom_blonde @purplequeennl @rachamuffin @saltwateritch @sarahhanner @sarahtregear @sarahv1982 @secretstef @sharonmcg1971 @sparkleytwinkle @squeakysays @starlitwolf @sumarumi @sundayhandbag @superkrispydj @taffy3rock @theweeyin15 @titchfairy @vspearson85 @waysidehealer @woodpeckergreen @zipperdidoodah
New to Twanta this year? Having trouble separating your twanta from your twantee? Completed your trifecta yet? Got no bloody idea what I’m talking about? Then this post will save you from social embarrassment akin to leaving the public loos with your skirt tucked into the back of your knickers. As actually happened to me once, but that’s a tale for another time.
TWANTA – this word has two meanings. Firstly it is the all-encompassing name for the whole cosy event itself, although usually with the relevant year attached to its arse (eg #TWANTA2018). Secondly, the Twanta is the person sending a gift. It is the Twanta’s own choice whether or not to remain secret.
TWANTEE – the person receiving said gift, with a smile and a song and possibly other things beginning with ‘S’.
TWANTADOR – general term for anyone taking part, bless their little cotton reindeer socks.
TRIFECTA – the magic three milestones achieved by a TWANTADOR who has (1) sent a gift, (2) learned that it has arrived, and (3) received their own.
TWUMBUG – a dirty rapscallion who fails to send a gift as promised. Also known as a twat.
FAIRY – a good-hearted TWANTADOR who volunteers to step in and provide a gift at short notice for anyone who falls victim to a TWUMBUG.
TWANTAVERSE – every bloody thing to do with Twanta. Constantly expanding.
EPISTLETOE – a hand-written letter included with the gift to add a virtual Christmas kiss and a personal touch. Not to be confused with camel toe, which is something entirely different.
Pop your chestnuts on an open fire, it’s time for #TWANTA2018 to shove another tree up another fairy’s frock and display its shiny balls for the ninth year in succession. For the uninitiated, those taking part in Twanta send a cheap but fun Christmas gift to someone that I nominate, possibly a complete stranger, and in return they receive a similar pressie from someone else. Hence “Twanta” – TWitter secret sANTA, see? As usual I’ll link you here to the blog post from @davidtims which beautifully sums up the spirit of Twanta.
FOR NOW, JUST TELL ME IF YOU WANT TO TAKE PART so that I can add you to the Master Wallchart here at Twanta Towers.
I’ll give people a few weeks to join, and shortly after that you’ll receive the name of your Twantee, probably around the end of October. Old hands of Twanta will know all the following already, but for any newcomers here’s a summary of how the whole thing works.
You must have specifically asked me, and I must have confirmed that you’re taking part before you can join in. I reserve the right to reject anyone that I suspect of being dodgy. Sorry, but I have to be careful due to a slight wobble several years back when some git refused to actually send a present once they’d received theirs.
Make sure you follow @twanta2018 on Twitter. He will follow you back (it’s me really, but don’t tell the little tweeters. Let’s not spoil the magic, eh?). DM your address to him so that he can pass it on to your own Secret Twanta when everyone is linked up. I do remember some of your addresses from last year, but once #Twanta2018 is over I will always delete the addresses of those who ask.
Tell me if there are any mortal enemies that you don’t want to be linked with. We don’t want to be responsible for any “incidents”. You can also make other special requests (e.g. if you’re allergic to chocolate, or perhaps you don’t want to post anything to a different country). We are a benign Twanta, and will accept all reasonable requests.
Very occasionally things go awry, and when that happens Twanta Fairies step in to send a gift at short notice. Please also let us know if you would be happy to be a volunteer Fairy, should any be required (though that’s only rarely necessary).
Once @twanta2018 has everyone’s address, he’ll DM you to let you know to whom (grammar) you should send a gift, together with the address. You might want to spend a little while researching the recipient’s timeline to find out a little bit about them. Yes, that’s a bit stalkery, but you’ll be able to make your gift more personalised that way.
Buy a pressie for your twantee (as the recipients have somehow come to be known) and send it to them. Mark the envelope #TWANTA so they know what it is. Let @twanta2018 know that you’ve posted it (so I can keep track in case anything goes missing). It’s entirely up to you whether you remain anonymous or expose yourself *snigger*.
You should not spend a fortune. Small, fun and imaginative is the rule of thumb, but don’t send an actual thumb. That would be hideous. I recommend spending no more than a tenner, though in the end, of course, it’s up to you. The photographs accompanying this post are of some previous gifts, should you need inspiration.
When you receive your #TWANTA pressie, again let @twanta2018 know. Challenge yourself to wait until Christmas Eve or Day to open the thing. Harness your willpower, young warrior.
When your willpower fails, take a photo of your gift ready to post to Twitter on Christmas Day. Post it then including the hashtag #TWANTAPIX2018, so that we can all follow the fun, and I can collect the pics on a special Pinterest board. Here’s last year’s board.
Have fun, and, if it all goes tits up, remember that it was originally all the idea of that @captain_doodle, and castigate him mercilessly. Not me, oh no, leave me alone.